Lonely

[c9]

I've just realized that I have no friends. That's needlessly melodramatic, and of course that's not what I mean. But I used to have very close friends who I could (and would) tell everything to, and we'd discuss things into the wee hours. I've realized that I don't have any of those types of friends anymore.

I have plenty of friends -- we're making new friends all the time in Toronto, which is fun. But even the old friends I'm reconnecting with are people who I don't have much history with, so I don't feel close to them yet in that "baring your soul" kind of way.

And my very close friends from the past I know I could easily reconnect with again given the opportunity, it's just that our lives have taken us far apart and the connection has been reduced to little updates and occasional visits, rather than having all the time in the world like we did in university or in high school.

I'm just venting really. I'm not in any way suggesting that any of my friends has not behaved the way they should have.

I just miss it. My parents once told me that as we age, we spend the entire time disconnecting from friends rather than staying connected. That is to say, I'll end up with a much smaller circle of friends than I have now. Kinda depressing. What about all my work on Facebook? -- I have 198 friends, for crissakes. Of course, when you have someone on your friends list and you can't answer the "How do you know _____?" question, that probably says something about the depth of connection.

I don't remember where, but I read once about kids replacing friends in your brain and your life. Except we don't have kids, just cats, and they're not the best conversationalists.

Comments

[thespos]

I think that type of friendship is the hardest to maintain over the long-term, and in some ways, is just easier when you're younger.

And you still have the V Man. :-)

I have been thinking a lot about my first year of college, and have been thinking the same thing. *sigh*