Christmas

[c9]

There are several ways to talk about Christmas in one's LiveJournal. Please ensure that your posts conform to one of the following stereotypes:

Please note: I'm not talking about you.

• Loot: a list of what you got, a list of what you wanted but didn't get, a list of links to items that you forgot to list, and a list of what you returned. Bonus points for monetary values on any items. Mocking any gifts for ironic street cred is allowed, but is fairly advanced for a first time poster.
• Travel: a blow-by-blow description of the flights, highways, planes, trains, automobiles, boats, hot air balloons, pumpkin boats, hang gliders, fighter jets, golf carts, elevators, escalators, inclinators, moving sidewalks, horses, pogo sticks, and slip 'n slides that you took, wanted to take, missed, avoided, endured, piloted, steered, rode, and saw. Bonus points for descriptions of passengers or counts of specific beverages you imbibed during layovers. If you make travel posts like this every time you go anywhere then you don't get as many points.
• Love: "I love you. I love all my friends. I love LiveJournal. I love Christmas. I love snow. I love food. I love togetherness. I love happiness. I love love. Love loves love too. And I just want to say peace on earth and fuzzy bunnies and hugs and love." Bonus points for getting through the post without making any single self-referential mocking joke. If you're looking to make a post like this but not sure you can pull it off, I recommend watching a movie like Miracle on 34th Street and then tying in the lesson(s) with something that just happened in your life.
• Photos: pictures of your tree, your new sweater, your dog, your dog wearing the sweater, your tree falling on your dog, you (blurry), your mom, your cousin, your front yard when it snowed three and a half inches and you couldn't believe it. Bonus points for a picture that contains no visual Christmas evidence, so that you can re-post it a month later.
• Irrelevancies: Like this one, from me: "I just won $5 on a scratch-and-win!"*
• Boredom: after x hours/days at y location, you are guaranteed to be z bored with all the family, friends, pets, weather, and how few posts are appearing in your Friends list. I personally award bonus points for original or amusing posts, but not everyone appreciates this category.

Your attention to this matter is appreciated.

* This is true.

Comments

[c9.livejournal.com]

If the Canadian equivalent also conforms to the "Canada is just 10% the size/importance/value of the USA" rule. He doesn't do much for me, but there aren't many others to choose from.

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

Mary Hart looks good for 200.

[c9.livejournal.com]

She gives me seizures.

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

Get out!

[c9.livejournal.com]

*sad face*

I'm being kicked out already? We're not even halfway to our typical comment total.

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

Good point. I retract my "Get out!" and substitute in a "Dance, puppet!"

[c9.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Perhaps I should have stuck with door number one.