c9 | If only those animals could write livejournals...

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S LIVEJOURNAL

7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

12:30 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

7:00 PM - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 PM - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S LIVEJOURNAL

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

Jerks. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these Vile Creatures, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair.

Note to self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working according to plan.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a bloody half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved.

But I can wait; it's only a matter of time.