Letter to Coworker

[c9]

So I ran into that coworker at the big prayer rally (I call it "Anti-Equality Fest 2003"), which was very upsetting. I finally decided that I deserve to have friends that support me and are a positive part of my life, and he deserves to know how I really feel -- I'm not going to hide just to make work life easier. Below is the letter I just emailed him. Who knows.

My friend has a religious studies background, hence the trivia at the end.

Cam


_______,

When you told me a few weeks ago that you didn't want to see equal marriage
rights for same-sex couples, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.
You probably noticed that I avoided you for a couple days. Gradually I was
able to return to relax a bit, but I still felt bothered. When I saw you
and ______ at the anti-equality protest on Sunday, I felt like I'd been
punched again, and harder.

You and I have been friends for three years. You know me, you know Vinny.
Seeing you at the protest really upset me. Did you ever consider actually
talking to me, or someone else who's gay, about the issue? I really feel
that you're too smart to agree with this civil discrimination if you'd
researched the issues involved, and I wish that I could help give you some
of the information you might not have encountered.

For example: You told me that you have concerns that many are not free to
practice their faith in the way they wish. Are you aware that the same
Charter of Rights and Freedoms that guarantees my equal treatment under
civil law also guarantees your right to practice your faith? And that
existing laws, in addition to this new bill, also guarantee the right of any
religion to define religious marriage in their own way? I feel that many do
not see a difference between civil law for all and religious belief for
themselves.

I consulted friends on how to react after seeing you. Shouldn't I just let
sleeping dogs lie? Isn't my working relationship with you more important
than politics? But I realized that it's not. It's not "politics", it's my
life, and my human rights being denied. If I was Jewish and I saw you at an
anti-Semitic rally, I would not remain silent, and I won't remain silent
here; this issue is that important for me.

I would welcome discussing these topics with you anytime, be it electronic
or face to face. If you would rather not discuss them, that's your choice of
course, but I honestly don't think I can maintain a friendship with someone
who thinks I'm less of a person than he is, and therefore less deserving of
equality under the law.

I'm sorry to approach you in this way, but when I see you now, my stomach
knots up and I feel like I'm going to be sick, and that's just not worth it.
I spent 13 years in religious schools hearing faith-based prejudice, and I'm
not willing to go through it again. You told me you valued my friendship.
Does that extend beyond videogames, jokes, and Palm advice? I hope so.

Cam

Some trivia to whet your appetite for a discussion:

- Prior to 1847 - only Anglican marriages were legal in Ontario
- 1857 - Jewish marriages became legal in Ontario
- 1950 - Marriage finally permitted through a purely civil ceremony by a
judge or other official, thus ending the religious monopoly on marriage in
Ontario
- Many Christian churches from 500 to 1500 AD performed same-sex union
ceremonies
- Many First Nations tribes, prior to European influence, performed same-sex
union ceremonies, and in some cases elevated "two-spirited" (gay)
individuals to holier roles within the community
- Marriage only became a Sacrament around the 13th century, prior to that
time it was celebrated both civilly and religiously, in a number of
ceremonies

..and finally: (www.religioustolerance.org)

I Corinthians 6:9: The original Greek text describes the two behaviors as
"malakoi" (some sources quote "malakee," and "arsenokoitai.") Although this
is often translated by modern Bibles as "homosexual," we can be fairly
certain that this is not the meaning that Paul wanted to convey. If he had,
he would have used the Greek word "paiderasste." That was the standard term
at the time for male homosexuals. We can conclude that he probably meant
something different from persons who engaged in male-male adult sexual
behavior.

The Christian Scriptures, in their original Greek do not contain any clear
references to consensual homosexuality within a committed relationship, and
certainly do not contain any unambiguous condemnation of gay and lesbian
sexual activity. However, after having been filtered through the belief
systems of the translators, many English versions of the Bible clearly
condemn homosexual behavior. Now that the famous "anti-homosexual" passages
of 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:18 have been so long identified as being
critical of homosexual activity, it would be impossible for Bible
translators to offer alternative explanations; their Bible wouldn't sell.

Comments

[bartok.livejournal.com]

I have to say I do agree now with you regarding the co-worker upon seeing him at that "rally". The parallel you use of comparing it to an anti-semitic one is spot on, and the fact that "christian marriage" is not being affected makes the whole thing all the more perplexing. How can being be having religious rallies about the rights when they aren't losing any, just allowing others to have those which are equal...

[finfinaud.livejournal.com]

Spot on Cam!
ON the news they had some People claiming it was a "prayer" not a protest... Good that you posted the triva, but it may fall on deaf ears... things will change...

My retort to the whole thing is...
"Nice women don't want the vote"

an equal parallell

[(Anonymous)]

It's probably not what I would do, but I do understand your reasons. I hope you send it to him in a person-to-person context, and not at work time or over work email. It was something you both did on your own time, and mixing work and political controversy is a recipe for trouble.

kk

[(Anonymous)]

The "malakoi", as a matter of course, were originally connoted as effeminate men (as used by Aristophanes in The Clouds). It literally means "the soft" - we get the name for the soft, green striped stone "malachite" from the same Greek word. "Malakos" was roughly equated in the Roman world around AD 100 to the Latin "cinaedus", catamite (opportunistic male whore). It may have been used as a derogatory, so it is possible that it was meant in such a fashion. But I still agree with you.