Jealousy Management

[c9]

Fascinating article on polyamory.

Let's assume your relationship is a refrigerator. One day, a problem arises in your relationship--the refrigerator quits working. You walk into your kitchen, there's a puddle on the floor, and all your frozen pizzas and ice cream are a gooey mass in the bottom of the freezer. There are a few things you can do at this point, once you've mopped up the mess and scraped the remains of last night's lunch out of the fridge. One solution is to fix the refrigerator; another is to replace it. A third solution is to leave the refrigerator exactly where it is and change your life around the problem--"From this day forward, I will bring no frozen or refrigerated foods into this house." - http://ping.fm/dBTNc

Comments

[bartok.livejournal.com]

You'll have to excuse that I tuned out of the article after a while since it turned into "you need communicate with your partner and analyse your feelings" over and over.

I'm a bit flummoxed though by this whole concept of "polyamory" though since I can't really tell the difference between it and just having friends (plus the fact it sounds like the brand-name for a car-polish).

Except that you occasionally shag them.

[c9.livejournal.com]

Well, there's no such thing as Official Polyamory™ as I understand it, and everyone finds their own way.

I would imagine that friends with benefits is significantly different from those who truly believe in truly loving multiple others. But *shrug*. Like most everything, there are those that it makes sense to, and those that it doesn't. Like Sudoku, or yogurt.

[bartok.livejournal.com]

or Christianinanity.

[thespos]

Interesting to read.

But I kept going back to our magic refrigerator and wondering if you had any zucchini. I saw a recipe for tiella I want to try.

:-)

I worry only that everyone involved in a polyamorous arrangement is truly happy. If you are willing to do without frozen and refrigerated foods and still be happy, it isn't my place to judge.

[c9.livejournal.com]

LOL!

Definitely, equal comfort / happiness is important. I think the metaphor would lead me to say that no one should be without frozen foods -- rather, some might prefer and be more comfortable with a new fridge, and if that's what works for them, then more power to them!

[thespos]

I have a great stainless steel fridge with a huge freezer on the bottom. It's awesome. :-P

I did go back and read the entire article. The author has an interesting take on the whole hypothetical situation he puts forth, and I could relate to a lot of it - but I still believe polyamory would be hard for me, personally. I tend to be an intense person in the one-on-one, even in close friendships, but I don't have an issue with it as a concept for other people - as long as everyone is happy.

I've always been intrigued by the idea of a triad relationship - but I think that is the closest to polyamory I could get.