Obsessive Reporting

[c9]

Could Canada's media obsess a little bit more about Stephen Harper not urging Peter MacKay to stay in Ottawa? Holy cannoli. Paul Wells captured it best:

More news from Canada's biggest schoolyard

So Peter and Stephen didn't really used to like each other, OK? And once they were even like members of different gangs, OK? And Peter's gang was all, "My dad used to run the country," and Stephen's gang was like all, "You're so immature!" And they used to sit on the same side of the classroom but they, like, neverrrr got along.

And then suddenly Peter and Stephen were like best — friends — everrrr. For like a rilly, rilly long time! Chaaa! And when B'linda broke up with Peter — Gahd, it still makes me kinda wanna cry, y'know? — but like Stephen rilly stood up for Peter and he rilly was like a good friend and everything, OK? Like he was bad-mouthing B'linda all over school and he was all like "You're so much better off without her" and everything, OK? Like it was rilly sweet of him.

So anyway. Now Peter's maybe gonna have to move to Halifax. And everybody's all, "Dude, that sucks! Halifax is like so far away." And they're all like, "Don't go, dude!"

Except Stephen. Stephen's like Mr. Cold Guy all of a sudden. He's all "Do what you want, dude!" It's like he doesn't even care. What's up with that?

Well, of course everyone's rilly, rilly interested in Peter and Stephen. None of us on the school paper can concentrate on anything else. I totally didn't do my homework last night because this thing with Peter and Stephen is like so important. Gahd. Do you have like any gum or something?