Phamlee Re-Onion

Wednesday: Drove to PEI, stayed up late talking to my parents, saw Winnie (cat) for first time since a) Xmas and b) Tigger (other cat) was put down -- god she looked small. And old.

Thursday: Panicked over all the crap we still had to do, like find lobster crackers and butter and this and that and not to mention the next thing. Ate steak with cousin Eric, wife Christina, cousin Susan, and daughter Sarah -- fantastic to see them again, hadn't seen Eric in at least eleven years.

Friday: Started to set up for first reunion event, then drove to Halifax to pick up leapfish . Got stuck behind a Go Slow convention on the highway. Drove back and joined the Bernard Meet 'n Greet already in progress. Had to deal with endless jokes about there being a quiz for Vinny regarding who's who. Stayed up too late, drank too much, went to bed, stayed up later.

Saturday: Bought $1014.30 worth of lobster. Delivered it. Helped set up for big supper event. Went to Beach Day event, organized by other seemingly long-lost cousin Alex. Won the frontwards Crab-Walk. Built a sand castle. At the supper, one of my aunts who's 84 passed out from the heat and dehydration, and we all had a bit of a scare, but she's OK. Got to read to the crowd of over 100 people a letter written by my uncle 35 years ago, was honoured to be asked. We had to find a new hotel, stayed at a place so bad that it is referred to as "Camping" by us now.

Sunday: Memorial Mass. Managed to screw up the program photocopying, so there was much
flipping of pages during the mass. Ate too much. Finally got some family tree updates. After last night's ridiculousness, had to find a new hotel, stayed at a place that has resort in the name, and it was quite nice. Went to West Point for chowder.

Monday: Swam in the pool and hot tub at the resort, then checked out. Very nice. Drove to Halifax, stopping by Amherst to visit fiver00 for a short while. Sadly, had to hit the road again, and were home by 3:30. Guests arrived mere seconds later it felt like, and went to Montana's. Not bad.

And now I'm back to work. So tired there's not enough humour above, but I'm going to hit update quick before I reconsider.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rerun

I just thought up a way to provide content to my loyal reader(s) without my having to feel guilty because I can't think up new interesting things very often. And the way is:

Run my old trip reports!

For those of you who don't know me very well, I like to travel, and often when I travel I write these huge long piles of crap I call "Trip Reports." They seem to amuse some people, and I'd like an excuse to read them all again, so I'm going to start running them, roughly once a day.

If you enjoy, feel free to say so, and I won't feel guilty about forcing others to re-read the same old stuff they read in the past. Or in Vinny's case, never got around to reading in the past. :)

Subject: Cam Goes Insane!

From: Cam MacLeod
To: Pete LePage, Jason Pratt, Ben Steeves, Joel Burrows, Kari MacLeod, Cam MacLeod, Nathan Burgoin
Subject: Cam Goes Insane!
Date: August 9, 1998 22:32

Hey there.

Pete has already heard this, but here it will be more fleshed out. This is a story I would love to tell, but it might get me in trouble! Almost needless to say, I would like to keep this story under our hats until I know the outcome, please and thanks. (within 2 weeks)

Okay, so on August 3rd, I took my parents and the three of us drove to Charlottetown (2 hours) to see a play, "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead", a really cool show. For those who don't know, it's the story of the two messengers who take Hamlet to England to have him killed. If you don't kow Hamlet, well, ... go read it. It's too tough to explain. It's a really bizarre comedy, and there's not alot in the way of plot that Shakespeare didn't write first, but... I'm not really doing it justice. It's quite funny. I may direct it myself one day, with luck.

So, in the Land of Anne (you know, the red-haired one), I scan the newspaper and find an ad for a non-Anne based show, R&GAD. I go, and when I arrive I realize -- I have somehow managed to stumble upon the most fantabulously queer event in all of Charlottetown. I swear half the audience was unstr8 (a new term I'm beta testing). I was in heaven, for one of two possible reasons: a) Cam is desperate after a week in PEI with no queer contact exept his closeted 80-year-old uncle who he's not out to, or b) Cam is simply desperate. B is probably correct.

Very attractive people in the audience, but a little too cool for me, if you know what I mean. (nudge nudge wink wink) Oh well, they were young and Detailsish (but in a negative way, Joel). Attractive cast members (a couple of them, anyway) but it's normal to fall in lust for actors in my life, and there was no way to meet them anyway (my parents wanted to run after the show, because it was so long (3hrs)). So oh well. Then at intermission I go to the little desk where they're selling pop and chocolate bars (the place was The Arts Guild, a total community we-can't-afford-nonsense type of place, so no alcohol), and I see the bartender. Now Pete and Jay know that my luck with bartenders (and my lust after them) is pretty evident in history, but this wasn't really a bar, so who knows, right?

He is cute. Not just cute, but *CUTE* cute. *And* attractive, for those who have had that conversation with me. AND gorgeous. AND involved with theatre.

So what did I do? Pick your choice and flip to the back of the book for the answers.

a) strike up a conversation
b) hide under the bar and jump up during the show and yell surprise!
c) pretend to faint
d) try to kiss his feet
e) tip heavily but not say a word
f) make out with anything convenient to make him jealous
g) tell my parents wo leave me in Charlottetown, I had foun another bed
or
h) none of the above

Well, I'm afraid that nothing there is accurate. I did tip heavily, but I had to speak to order drinks.

"7-Up?"

"Sure. Dollar-fifty."

[hand over money]

"That's fine, thanks."

"Thanks!"


But that's not alot, I admit.

And I stewed. I should have started a conversation right then. There were TWO 15-minute intermissions, for crying out loud! But NOOOO, I had to be casual, suave and debonair. Well, scared and shy, anyway.

So when I got home (midnight) I pulled out the paper and I wrote him a letter! I sat down and wrote out the conversation (well, sort of) that I wished I'd had! I phrased it in the form of a letter, peppered with "I'm not insane or a stalker" type phrases, and such, but still.

And I addressed it to "the guy who bartended during R&G on August 3rd".

And I mailed it. I actually put a stamp on it and mailed it.

I must be insane.

If I disappear, it's because the RCMP have picked me up for "Suspicion of Intention to Stalk".

I sent postcards to some people, and letters to some others, and renewed my Murmurs membership (Sarah McLachlan fan club), and mailed them all together so my mother wouldn't ask "what's this letter to the bartender about?"

*sigh*

Incidentally, my rationale (no, it's not very good) for contacting the guy was this: he's attractive, he's volunteering with a theatre group (thus implying some lights on upstairs and a slight increase in likelihood of unstr8ness). Sure, he could be str8, evil, dumb, a smoker, a combination thereof, but I don't care. It's like an old-fashioned net.romance -- real paper and real letters! Of course, that's what it *would* be if it were to happen, which it *won't*. I bet when he receives the letter (anytime between tomorrow and next Monday) he reads it, laughs, shows his buddies, and throws it out.

But hey, I got a long, occasionally funny email out of it.


.
Cam MacLeod "...I mean, what's it all about anyway?"
http://i.am/cam/
cam_macleod@ottawa.com