I wrote recently about my great-aunt (as we call her and she calls herself, "my grandest aunt") writing to say she won't be attending the wedding. I just wrote her a letter and stamped it, and thought I'd share.

Dear Aunt Norma

Thank you for the lovely card -- you're right, it was a hoot! [she sent a cute card] And thank you for your kind words. I do understand your reluctance to attend our celebration, and I too hope we stay close.

You've been an important role model my entire life, with your love and dedication to your family and friends, and I would be lucky to be half as blessed as you in my life.

Truth be told, I was hesitant about inviting you, and did not even invite Florence [grandma], Sister Bea [family friend who's a Catholic nun], or Father Joe [cousin who's a Catholic priest], knowing that it would be hard or impossible for them to see our celebration as one of love and commitment.

And I was asking a lot: you've seen marriage as one specific thing your entire life, and it's hard to move past that. But society has made many leaps of human rights in the past century, including seeing women as equal to men, blacks equal to whites, and all religions as equal. I hope someday this will be seen as just another equalization.

I want you to know that you are still welcome to attend and celebrate with us if you change your mind. Your marriage, and my parents' marriage, are great inspirations to me, and I would never do anything other than to honour them.

All my love,
Cam

Very eloquent.

S.

Thanks.

Kudos to you, I thought that was very classy.

Thanks. She really is important to me.

Everything in there is true -- I did want to invite a Catholic priest, for example. :-) My mom tells me that when she got marries, an uncle of hers who was a Catholic priest wasn't *allowed* to attend, because she was marrying a protestant. Silly.

I was trying to make sure that I wasn't all "queer power" on her ass, while at the same time not meekly saying OK or ignoring it. I hope I nudged enough that she maybe shows up. But I don't have a good sense of how strong her feelings are... is she a "strongly disagree" or just a "disagree". :-)

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