Telemarketing Survey

[c9]

No no! Don't hang up! I'm wondering what you do, if anything, to combat telemarketing calls in your home.

1. listen to the whole spiel, then say no as much as necessary
2. hang up once they say something to show it's telemarketing
3. hang up when nobody says "Hi!" when you answer (i.e. computer is routing call because you answered)
4. never answer the phone
5. at first opportunity, ask to be removed from call list
6. remove your number from the call list because you work at the telemarketing company
7. use complicated math equations to get them to stop bugging you
8. other

Comments

A & H

[putaindemerde.livejournal.com]

When they get to a point in their shpiel and I know I'm not interested in what they're selling/asking/whatever, I say, "No thanks" or "Sorry, I'm really not interested" followed by "No, really, I'm not. I'm sorry. Thank you. Bye now."

When they don't get the point, I play the rude card. "I guess you're not hearing me. I'm not interested. Thank you. Bye now." That's when I hang up.

Re: A & H

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

I love your icon!

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

D. Never answer the phone. I've caller ID and if it displays some 1-800 number or anything I don't recognize I don't bother answering. I feel no guilt, if it's important they can leave me a message and I'll consider returning the call :P Plus no one ever calls me so when the phone rings I know it's more than likely not really for me.

[c9.livejournal.com]

Yeah, when we see 1-8xx-xxx-xxxx it's not going to be for us, but the ringing phone will annoy me more than answering, so I keep doing it. *sigh*

[jdhorner.livejournal.com]

exactly what he said.

[ex-halfwitte432.livejournal.com]

Well, the EGBG counterscript...
http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

and this morning some guy called for Mrs. Mollison and I said:
"Honey, I'm sorry, but Mrs. Mollison is never going to exist." and then hung up.

[c9.livejournal.com]

That counterscript is SO cool. Mostly because I love diagrams, but the fucking with them a bit is fun too. I'd hate it if that got pulled on a friend stuck doing a telejob though.

[joecdn.livejournal.com]

I think I saw this in an email once, but if you pick up and nobody says hello, and you know that it's one of those computer generated machines....if you start hitting the # key over and over again as many times as you can - it'll fuck the computer up, and they'll remove the problematic number from their lists (ie - your phone #). I've never done this myself though - cause I'm always a sucker for saying hello more than once LOL.

[c9.livejournal.com]

I forgot to include that as an option. I heard it for the first time at work yesterday, from someone who would quite happily spread unverified strategies like that. I wonder if it's true.

[cap-hill-latte.livejournal.com]

Tell them it's a cell # - it's illegal (in the US anyway) to telemarket to cell numbers because you're paying for the call.

That seems to have worked for me (though, for me it really is a cell # 'cause I don't have a landline).

[c9.livejournal.com]

A strategy (having only a cell, I mean) that I may try soon.

[saviolo.livejournal.com]

My favourite method was ripped off from Adbusters Magazine.

A writer for the San Francisco Chronicle has proposed "Three Little Words," based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation. The words are "Hold on, please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking away instead of hanging up would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that those boiler rooms would grind to a halt.
-Ami Greener

[c9.livejournal.com]

Oooo, nasty!

[heartovmidnight.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine hands the phone to her 4 year old child who loves to talk.

Apparently telemarkets can't hang up unless they're being verbally abused or something. :)

[leapfish.livejournal.com]

Oh you win, you so win.

[c9.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Now I just need to find a four year old somewhere.

[senhor.livejournal.com]

I think you know my answer...[1-800(x) + Phone(y)](ring) = don't answer.

[dipdewdog.livejournal.com]

B or E, depending on my mood.

[thespos]

The U.S. government and many states now support a Do Not Call list, which results in fines to violators, because you opt-in. My telephone service in NJ also offered Privacy ID - which meant, if you didn't publish who you were in Caller ID, you had to identify yourself before I'd let the call through. What was cool about this, is it came with a pre-recorded message like, "the number you have reached is not accepting sales calls at this time".

Before I had Privacy ID, and before the Do Not Call lists, I would receive in excess of 50 sales calls per day. All of these unpublished numbers on my Caller ID.

Afterward? Zero.

[c9.livejournal.com]

Nice. Canada has no such thing, but there's some talk it might happen here.

[whobunkyboo.livejournal.com]

My hubby likes to deal with telemarketers thusly:

"Sure. I'll answer any questions you have, but first, will you answer some for me? About your underwear? What kind are you wearing?"

Male, female, it doesn't matter. He will happily discuss telemarketer's underwear with them until they get frustrated and hang up.

They rarely call again.

[iambic-cub.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't mind choosing multiple options. Here's my telemarketer algorithm.

if (near a phone with call display)
then
   if (unfamiliar number || 
       someone I don't want to talk to)
   then
      Option D - Don't Answer The Phone
   else
      answer the phone
   fi
else
   if (pause on the other end)
   then
      Option C - Hang Up While Routing
   else
      Option A - Politely Listen And Say No
   fi
fi

In other words, I try to avoid having to talk to them, but if I start talking to them, I try to be at least polite.

[socalledeconomy.livejournal.com]

I tried this once with a call asking for a donation for the Police Benevolence Society:

ME: Hello?

HIM: This is blah blah blah with the Police Benevolence Society. We are soliciting donations for....

ME: Police? Oh great. Do you have any tips for getting blood out of a carpet?

HIM: Blood?

ME: Yeah. Human blood. There's so much of it, it's everywhere. It's all over the carpet, walls and the damn ceiling too. I tried everything but I can't get all this blood out of my carpet.

HIM: silence. {hang up click}

Fortunately, the police never came by to follow up.

[nihilicious.livejournal.com]

Combination of A and E. I'm always tempted to mess with them, though.

[rebelprince26.livejournal.com]

too many other comments to read, but i am always very polite. i listen and decline nicely. it's their job and it sucks, so there's no reason to be mean.

[yellowtangfish.livejournal.com]

ask them if they worship satan, too.