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A Trip to Burning Man, Part 1
Hi everyone
I went on another big trip, and I wrote another big email. I thought of you
when addressing this, and I hope you enjoy my story, odd as it may be. Feel
free to forward this to anyone I know who may also enjoy it. Read to the
very end to find out where you can see some pictures from the trip...
Love to all,
Cam
Before I went to Burning Man, I had a hard time describing it to people. Is
it an art festival? An experiment in non-commercial community? Radical
free self-expression? A huge party? An orgy? I'd heard all those and
more -- and to be honest, I didn't know what to expect. I had absorbed
everything I could find on it beforehand, reading the packing lists and
suggestions for how to get there and survive once you arrived, but really
nothing was the same as actually being there.
Now that I've been, I still find it hard to describe. The facts:
- 29,800 people attended this year
- Black Rock Desert becomes Black Rock City for a week
- It also becomes the fifth largest city in Nevada for a week
- As a city, it has many rules and regulations, though the apparent lack of
public safety laws would still make your mother choke on her coffee
- everyone who attends must bring everything they need to survive (water,
food, shelter) -- it is, after all, barren desert
- everyone who attends must remove everything they brought in, save for what
went in the porta-potties. Burning Man is a Leave No Trace event, so this
means cigarette butts, bits of string, feathers from feather boas, duct
tape, pop cans, and anything else that might be easily dropped. One motto:
"don't let it hit the ground."
- Burning Man volunteers are in the desert from for several months after the
event ends, cleaning up and ensuring that there is, in fact, no trace left.
- Every year, the US Bureau of Land Management demands in the event permit
that the playa (the hard-packed desert surface) be 99.997% free of debris
after the event -- and every year, Burning Man has achieved 99.999%.
- The city is a huge three-quarters circle, measuring 7800 feet (2.35 km)
across, and the area where art could be found in the empty playa extended
another half mile further, at least.
- people build camp from 2100-3900 feet away from the centre, along streets
measured by degree: from 60 degrees to 300 degrees.
- The Burning Man stands at the centre of this circle, the Temple of Joy
centred in the gap in the circle.
- The event has been happening for sixteen years.
- It was a challenge, an adventure, and an experience.
- I would attend again without any hesitation.
My trip began on a Friday, a week before the Labour Day long weekend. I
woke up at 4:00 AM, kissed Vinny goodbye (poor guy would be stuck in a
non-cluttered and clean apartment for two whole weeks without me!), and
hopped in the pimp-mobile cab of a guy who used to actually live in our
apartment. We think he ran an escort service, or at least, the woman
upstairs does. Nobody awake at the airport, everyone dozing through the
paces of getting started for the day. Quick flight to Toronto, change
planes and decide that if I ever am going to start drinking coffee, this
would probably be the time (but I didn't), and continue on to Edmonton.
Note to self: never order special low-cholesterol meal ever EVER again. All
the specialty meals are horrid. Elyse met me at the Edmonton airport, where
the ongoing construction makes it hard to find out where arrivals actually
are! Halifax is having the same diffculty.
I had no time to get used to the new time zone, partly because it would end
up changing again anyway, and partly because we still had a huge shopping
list. We didn't plan meals -- we correctly predicted that most people would
not have time or interest in proper meals, but we incorrectly predicted how
much food we would need. We were left with at least another week's worth of
food, which we donated to the
volunteers who stay behind. Shopping was challenging, as we really didn't
know what we would feel like eating, and we wanted to try to cover all the
major food groups (Canadian no-name brand canned foods, Canadian no-name
brand drinks, President's Choice brand crackers, and Tang).
Having an RV helped -- even though we had tons of extra food, there seemed
to be almost infinite cupboard space. Every time we turned around we found
another area to stuff with non-perishable high-fat snacks.
Elyse: hey, this thing comes off under the dash!
Cam: yeah, that's so you can access the transmission and stuff.
Elyse: Oh, it's not more closet space?
The RV layout is a little funny -- I spent a lot of time shoulder-checking
to make sure the bathroom was still there. The first day is understandable,
but we spent a full week driving and still did it!
Early (but late according to my Maritime internal clock) it was time to hit
the highway. We managed to depart at 9:30, which was 30 minutes earlier
than my absolute worst case scenario -- in other words, early. I quickly
decided that drivers are bad everywhere. I used to have theories about
which province's drivers were bad in which ways, but the job drain bringing
Maritimers to Alberta has muddled that all up: people stopping at Yield
signs left right and centre!
During the first few hours, we had the adrenaline and excited energy to keep
us alert and happy (plus the nervous fear about driving a 21-foot-long and
11-foot-high top-heavy cube). After a few hours, we needed more, and road
signs were the answer. We saw plenty of funny (to us) road signs:
apparently stoned docile elk in BC, calmly waiting to cross the road
(compare to the prancing deer in most provinces). Another sign seen: Llamas
for Sale. Outside High River, Alberta, there's a large farmer's field
containing the following signs: "Crab, Pollock, Prawns, Cod for sale",
"Lobster tails, $1.99", "100 Big Shrimp, $9.99". Some confusing signs too:
Along the highway in Alberta, there's a sign that says "David Thompson
Tourist Zone." Apparently, he was a medium-famous explorer for the Hudson's
Bay Company when it was working it's way towards the west coast. We didn't
know this. As it turns out, we met a David Thompson from Memphis at Burning
Man (he had a block party at his camp) and we took some pictures with him --
small world!
Cam in BC: "Oh, they're *leaves*! I thought some kid was throwing tortilla
chips out the window."
We may have been somewhat sleep deprived by this point.
As we approached the US border, Elyse and I talked about the questions we
might be asked, and how we could make ourselves appear completely harmless
without actually lying in any way. Before the trip we had been careful to
ensure that nothing even a little risky accompanied us in the RV, whether it
was narcotics (not that anyone wanted us to bring any) or even brand new
camping equipment that wouldn't be returning. As it turns out, crossing the
border was very easy. In retrospect, Elyse and I looked like the cutest
twentysomething couple driving our RV for some camping, with no piercings,
blue hair, or big signs saying "Burning Man or Bust!"
The blue hair arrived on day two with Pete, and the sign was put up shortly
thereafter.
Before picking up Pete, we had to drive from the border through a few hours
of Idaho and Washington. Our plan was to stop right after the border, but
(FYI) northern Idaho is EMPTY. So we drove til about 10:00 or so, and
finally found an RV park that was mostly deserted, except for what appeared
to be several long term residents. We saw one RV that was at least 35 feet
long, plus an expensive truck, plus an SUV beside it, plus a motorcycle in
the back. It had a fence! So the vehicle part seemed to have lost the
battle with the home part. For those of you following along on your maps,
we were in Sandpoint, Idaho. Not recommended.
Our funniest Idaho story (again, "funny") is our time in the town of Athol.
Elyse was driving, and someone cut her off, someone else abruptly changed
lanes right in front of us. We quickly determined where the town's name had
come from.
Once Pete joined us, the number of funny things dropped markedly. Not due
to a lack of humour, but rather the fact that Elyse and I weren't reduced to
tears by completey unfunny things quite so much, having someone more rooted
in reality nearby.
Our plan, after picking up Pete, was to shop for anything left on the list,
since Spokane was the largest city we would see until our return to Spokane
in ten days. First stop, Costco. A word to the wise: don't go to Costco
with Pete. As mentioned, we didn't really know what to expect, so we bought
more than needed just to be safe. But I can say that fully a third of our
bill at Costco (you don't want to know what it was) was too much -- a lot of
it went right back to Canada with us, and is probably being gradually
consumed by Elyse. One case of Red Bull (high caffeine pop) came to
Halifax, and has been destroying Vinny's and my sleeping patterns ever
since. Next stop: Fred Meyer, sort
of an upscale Wal-Mart. We also bought some Costco gas, and bought a bunch
of pipes at Home Depot. It was a busy couple of hours, but we did actually
get back on the highway by 3pm, which was slightly ahead of schedule.
Most people (read: me) don't know this, but once you cross into
south-eastern Washington state, you enter an area that you would swear was
Death Valley. Very arid and desolate -- we knew that was what we were
heading towards in Nevada, but we hoped it wasn't going to be three days of
driving in it! Luckily, it wasn't. Oregon actually looked like I always
thought Washington did, with huge redwood trees and mountains everywhere.
We had decided to take highway 397, which was a shorter route through, and
in a car that would have been fine. In a top-heavy old RV though, it was a
little too scary. Often the highway dropped down to only a few spare inches
on our right and then sudden drops into chasms, and the highway was built
for higher speed cars, so every curve tilted enough that we got nervous. If
you've never driven an RV, just imagine sitting halfway up the CN Tower and
having it tilt. That's how it felt to us RV newbies.
We were driving along this dangerous twisty highway, and people would
occasionally pass our big, slow, motorhome. One car tailgated us for a few
minutes, so we prepared to stop at an upcoming turnout to let them pass.
Before we reached it, they started to pass us, pulled alongside, and yelled
for us to stop -- we realized that they too were going to Burning Man! We
stopped, and they jumped out of their SUV and ran to us, hugged us, and gave
us Burning Man gifts! We told them it was our first time, and they told us
it was going to be so amazing -- it was a wonderful way to be introduced to
the non-commercial non-cynical non-judgemental event, and left us smiling
the rest of the day. It's really hard to describe this to anyone who hasn't
been to Burning Man and make them understand -- most people I've tried it
with just get this blank look, not understanding why people would act this
way. It's all about stripping away the masks we hide behind all our lives,
when we hurry to do things that don't matter, and we fight with strangers
over parking spaces or whatever. Imagine if you could just be
yourself, do anything you wanted, and no one else around you cared? The
gift economy that Burning Man promotes is very foreign to all us wasteful
westerners, but we really could benefit from it.
Our last night in the RV before arriving at Burning Man was spent in
Lakeview, Oregon, right at the California border. There was a geyser there,
Old Perpetua, and hot springs, and we were very excited to see these sights.
Unfortunately, the water table was too low, and the geyser wasn't geysing.
Another downside was that Elyse had to shower with a frog. But there are
worse things. Being in the middle of nowhere, we got an amazing view of the
stars, much better even than we would have for most of Burning Man, since
all these normal people went to sleep at night, unlike most Burners.
In the morning we woke very early, eager to get on the road. We also knew
that we had about 200 miles to cover through hot and unforgiving highways
before we got to the hot unforgiving desert, and we wanted to be done with
it as early in the day as possible. Our only hiccup was Elyse's decision to
have a coffee in the morning, which as all drivers know, means bathroom
pitstop an hour later. Except that an hour later we were precisely 50 miles
from the nearest bathroom, and we couldn't use the RV's toilet since it
wouldn't be emptied until after BM was over. So Elyse daintily used a
nearby bush. Now all the Canadians are saying "oh yeah, I'd pee in the
forest, no big deal" except it wasn't the forest. Or even some bushes. It
was A bush.
We arrived successfully, as is now obvious. I had printed out many sets of
directions, again not knowing what to expect. As it turns out, there were
large, obvious signs pointing the way, so we just followed them. On the 12
miles of driving on a dead-end road, we passed a surprising number of people
leaving. We expected none, so any were surprising. Once we arrived at the
first gate we tried to tune in the Burning Man radio station, but we
couldn't find it. Not that there was nothing, quite the contrary: there are
radio stations at almost every stop on the dial at Burning Man, easily 30+
stations. We just couldn't get the one we wanted!
At this point we were now travelling on actual playa (dry, brittle desert).
Burning Man has hundreds of volunteers, many of whom arrive early in the
summer to start staking out the locations of important landmarks like the
actual Burning Man itself, along with roads and such. These people are the
Department of Public Works (DPW). They also mark the entranceway that
everyone drives, leading people to the gate. At the gate, the first words
we heard were "Welcome Home." It is a neat feeling to hear those words
spoken in such a place. We handed over our tickets, were given welcome
kits, and from the gleam in our eyes we were immediately identified as BM
virgins. We were commanded to exit the vehicle, and either a) roll in the
dust, b) get spanked with a stick, or c) something else I can't remember. I
chose to roll in the dirt, and everyone followed. We got MUCH more dirty
than at any later point in the trip, which was actually a good thing. My
black runners never did get their colour back, even now, a month later.
After our gate adventure, we drove the long mile or two into the actual
camping and parking areas. To keep everyone going slow (and thereby keep
the dust down), the DPW had placed interesting and amusing signage all along
the road, with lots of text that you could only read at about 2 miles per
hour. Obscure quotes tangentially related to this year's theme (The
Floating World), funny quotes related to saving the planet and being smarter
than dolphins, and just neat stuff. Several times while writing this I've
been forced to just stop, because I don't know enough words to describe the
things I've seen.
We pulled up to a general camping area, knowing that we'd have to find the
other three guys before we got too comfortable. Elyse and Pete started to
clean up a bit (a futile effort we quickly realized) while I ran in to
Center Camp to see if I could track them down. We had made plans to meet on
the hour in front of the camp, facing the Man, but no one was there. As it
turned out, BM maintains a messaging service, so all we had to do was ask
for messages under Elyse's name, and there was our note! It gave an
address, 120 degrees and Wheelhouse, and a description of Chris' car.
Amusingly, Chris described his car as "metallic beige and kind of dirty,"
which as you can guess was incredibly helpful in narrowing down the cars we
encountered! We arrived near noon, and they were all asleep, trying to
escape the heat. We woke them up, parked the RV, and deployed our magical
shade structure. We instantly became more popular because of it.
A word about shade. Those of us who grew up away from the ocean know that
shade is nice, but really not terribly relevant when the humidity keeps the
sweat from even evaporating. Summers in Ottawa could leave you immobile and
crying out for winter, and then the winters made you eat your words and wish
it was summer again. But in Black Rock Desert, there's no humidity at all.
Less than none. If you have shade, you can survive any temperature there
(well, approximately). Accordingly, shade is a must. We quickly learned
that our shade, while large and inviting, was location-of-sun-dependent, as
it was attached to one side of the RV. Next time, we need another shade
provider, so that we're good all day.
Another important concept at Burning Man (or any week-long event in the
desert) is "Piss Clear." All the time people say to each other "piss
clear", the idea being that you should be drinking enough water that you pee
clear. There's even a newspaper at the event called Piss Clear. If you're
not drinking enough water, you'll dehydrate, get headaches, be unhappy, and
eventually very sick. Pete gave us some basic first aid lessons on
dehydration on the drive down, but I know they just went in one ear and out
the other (sorry Pete) due to our excitement level. At least we knew we'd
be camping with two first aid instructors, which upped our comfort level
significantly.
Our first night there, we were taken by Chris, Evan and Justin over to the
LampLighters' area. They had been there since Sunday, and recommended this
as a great activity to partake in. Basically what happens is that hundreds
or kerosene lanterns are disassembled, cleaned, refilled, and lit, and then
places on large yokes which get carried by the lamplighters out into Black
Rock City. Light poles are spread throughout the main roads, allowing for
some night-time light. This is not an official Burning Man thing, it's just
become a tradition and is carried on by anyone who wants to be involved. We
all helped clean and set them up, and then dressed up in the special robes
they provide, and then carried the lamps out and hung them. The lamps are
hung using ten-foot poles, as the light-poles are about 14 feet high. Our
arms were sore by the end (the entire process takes at least 3 hours), but
we got an amazing view of major sections of the city, we felt welcomed and
involved immediately, and they even fed us pasta afterwards as a thank you!
The next day I was fighting a nasty headache, mostly due to too much sun and
not enough water. I had been drinking lots, but I had to learn the hard way
that you must drink what feels like too much, and being all
formerly-blond-hair-blue-eyed I needed to dodge the sun a bit too. Relaxing
in the shade from about 10 AM until 5 PM ended up being the perfect solution
for me. Rough life, I know.
We had been planning our trip for months, and we had all sorts of ideas
tossed around for ways we could participate (one of BM's slogans is "No
Spectators"), but none really came together until just a month before, when
Evan suggested Tibetan Prayer Flags. Basically, these are large flags
adorned with a simple phrase or idea (usually in Japanese or some other
non-western language, of course) which the wind picks up and carries to the
rest of the world. We all jumped at this idea, as it sounded simple but
elegant, and our other ideas were all proving too complex and/or expensive.
We ended up with eight prayer flags, each with a single Japanese character
on them: sky, fire, sea, sun, heaven, dreams, spirit, and journey. We put
them up in a line in front of our camp, where they proved to be quite the
conversation starter and visitor attractor -- especially to the young
Japanese woman who wanted to know who thought up this idea, as she surveyed
our completely non-Asian crowd!
On our second night at Burning Man, we all attended the Canadian Cocktail
Party -- one theme village called Chillage decided to hold a big party for
all the Canadians at Burning Man. What an event! Only there could you hear
people using Nunavut as the punchline to a joke, complaining that the Swedes
stole the hockey gold medal in 1994, and singing Spirit Of The West! We met
lots of fun people, including a few clueless Americans who just happened to
be there and ended up honourary Canadians. I also met one guy who played an
unusual instrument called the sound can, which is a speaker in a tin can
swung over his head in varying circles, while a computer-altered dial tone
was played through it. Sounds much cooler than I could ever describe.
Along the outer edges of the circle of camps is where you can find the
louder camps, people who truck in speaker systems larger than our RV just
for fun. We attended a couple night-clubs that people had built in the
desert a few nights, and there is nothing more fun than dancing to amazing
music under the stars in the desert! It's impossible to describe the
feeling I got from this. One such place we went was Illuminaughty, which
was defined mostly by the excellent music and occasional lasers emanating
from the DJ booth.
At one point Pete and I wandered over to the nearest porta-potties, and we
passed a bunch of plywood standing straight up in the road. We got closer
and Pete shone his flashlight on it -- a camp had left the plywood, a
camera, and pens here so that you could take a Polaroid of yourself, stick
it to the board, and then write a caption. We tried, but this Polaroid
didn't work in the dark. So we stuck our blank picture to the wood and
explained our situation!
Further on this same trek we found a trampoline, so we stopped and jumped on
it for a while. Many trampolines make it to the desert, and one sign sums
up the attitude: "for christ's sake of course you can jump on it." I guess
people bringing it as a gift got tired of answering that one.
My biggest surprise: finding life on the playa!! We were sitting in the
shade one morning and to our utter shock a cockroach wandered over to visit!
I still don't know if it was a local or if it hithched a ride to burning
man. In one issue of the Black Rock Gazette there was an article about 4
mice that hitched a ride in a rolled up carpet all the way from Denver --
sadly, only one survived, but it was well cared for and the plan was for it
to be returned to Denver after Burning Man was over -- 'Leave No Trace'
means mice too!
...to be continued...
I went on another big trip, and I wrote another big email. I thought of you
when addressing this, and I hope you enjoy my story, odd as it may be. Feel
free to forward this to anyone I know who may also enjoy it. Read to the
very end to find out where you can see some pictures from the trip...
Love to all,
Cam
Before I went to Burning Man, I had a hard time describing it to people. Is
it an art festival? An experiment in non-commercial community? Radical
free self-expression? A huge party? An orgy? I'd heard all those and
more -- and to be honest, I didn't know what to expect. I had absorbed
everything I could find on it beforehand, reading the packing lists and
suggestions for how to get there and survive once you arrived, but really
nothing was the same as actually being there.
Now that I've been, I still find it hard to describe. The facts:
- 29,800 people attended this year
- Black Rock Desert becomes Black Rock City for a week
- It also becomes the fifth largest city in Nevada for a week
- As a city, it has many rules and regulations, though the apparent lack of
public safety laws would still make your mother choke on her coffee
- everyone who attends must bring everything they need to survive (water,
food, shelter) -- it is, after all, barren desert
- everyone who attends must remove everything they brought in, save for what
went in the porta-potties. Burning Man is a Leave No Trace event, so this
means cigarette butts, bits of string, feathers from feather boas, duct
tape, pop cans, and anything else that might be easily dropped. One motto:
"don't let it hit the ground."
- Burning Man volunteers are in the desert from for several months after the
event ends, cleaning up and ensuring that there is, in fact, no trace left.
- Every year, the US Bureau of Land Management demands in the event permit
that the playa (the hard-packed desert surface) be 99.997% free of debris
after the event -- and every year, Burning Man has achieved 99.999%.
- The city is a huge three-quarters circle, measuring 7800 feet (2.35 km)
across, and the area where art could be found in the empty playa extended
another half mile further, at least.
- people build camp from 2100-3900 feet away from the centre, along streets
measured by degree: from 60 degrees to 300 degrees.
- The Burning Man stands at the centre of this circle, the Temple of Joy
centred in the gap in the circle.
- The event has been happening for sixteen years.
- It was a challenge, an adventure, and an experience.
- I would attend again without any hesitation.
My trip began on a Friday, a week before the Labour Day long weekend. I
woke up at 4:00 AM, kissed Vinny goodbye (poor guy would be stuck in a
non-cluttered and clean apartment for two whole weeks without me!), and
hopped in the pimp-mobile cab of a guy who used to actually live in our
apartment. We think he ran an escort service, or at least, the woman
upstairs does. Nobody awake at the airport, everyone dozing through the
paces of getting started for the day. Quick flight to Toronto, change
planes and decide that if I ever am going to start drinking coffee, this
would probably be the time (but I didn't), and continue on to Edmonton.
Note to self: never order special low-cholesterol meal ever EVER again. All
the specialty meals are horrid. Elyse met me at the Edmonton airport, where
the ongoing construction makes it hard to find out where arrivals actually
are! Halifax is having the same diffculty.
I had no time to get used to the new time zone, partly because it would end
up changing again anyway, and partly because we still had a huge shopping
list. We didn't plan meals -- we correctly predicted that most people would
not have time or interest in proper meals, but we incorrectly predicted how
much food we would need. We were left with at least another week's worth of
food, which we donated to the
volunteers who stay behind. Shopping was challenging, as we really didn't
know what we would feel like eating, and we wanted to try to cover all the
major food groups (Canadian no-name brand canned foods, Canadian no-name
brand drinks, President's Choice brand crackers, and Tang).
Having an RV helped -- even though we had tons of extra food, there seemed
to be almost infinite cupboard space. Every time we turned around we found
another area to stuff with non-perishable high-fat snacks.
Elyse: hey, this thing comes off under the dash!
Cam: yeah, that's so you can access the transmission and stuff.
Elyse: Oh, it's not more closet space?
The RV layout is a little funny -- I spent a lot of time shoulder-checking
to make sure the bathroom was still there. The first day is understandable,
but we spent a full week driving and still did it!
Early (but late according to my Maritime internal clock) it was time to hit
the highway. We managed to depart at 9:30, which was 30 minutes earlier
than my absolute worst case scenario -- in other words, early. I quickly
decided that drivers are bad everywhere. I used to have theories about
which province's drivers were bad in which ways, but the job drain bringing
Maritimers to Alberta has muddled that all up: people stopping at Yield
signs left right and centre!
During the first few hours, we had the adrenaline and excited energy to keep
us alert and happy (plus the nervous fear about driving a 21-foot-long and
11-foot-high top-heavy cube). After a few hours, we needed more, and road
signs were the answer. We saw plenty of funny (to us) road signs:
apparently stoned docile elk in BC, calmly waiting to cross the road
(compare to the prancing deer in most provinces). Another sign seen: Llamas
for Sale. Outside High River, Alberta, there's a large farmer's field
containing the following signs: "Crab, Pollock, Prawns, Cod for sale",
"Lobster tails, $1.99", "100 Big Shrimp, $9.99". Some confusing signs too:
Along the highway in Alberta, there's a sign that says "David Thompson
Tourist Zone." Apparently, he was a medium-famous explorer for the Hudson's
Bay Company when it was working it's way towards the west coast. We didn't
know this. As it turns out, we met a David Thompson from Memphis at Burning
Man (he had a block party at his camp) and we took some pictures with him --
small world!
Cam in BC: "Oh, they're *leaves*! I thought some kid was throwing tortilla
chips out the window."
We may have been somewhat sleep deprived by this point.
As we approached the US border, Elyse and I talked about the questions we
might be asked, and how we could make ourselves appear completely harmless
without actually lying in any way. Before the trip we had been careful to
ensure that nothing even a little risky accompanied us in the RV, whether it
was narcotics (not that anyone wanted us to bring any) or even brand new
camping equipment that wouldn't be returning. As it turns out, crossing the
border was very easy. In retrospect, Elyse and I looked like the cutest
twentysomething couple driving our RV for some camping, with no piercings,
blue hair, or big signs saying "Burning Man or Bust!"
The blue hair arrived on day two with Pete, and the sign was put up shortly
thereafter.
Before picking up Pete, we had to drive from the border through a few hours
of Idaho and Washington. Our plan was to stop right after the border, but
(FYI) northern Idaho is EMPTY. So we drove til about 10:00 or so, and
finally found an RV park that was mostly deserted, except for what appeared
to be several long term residents. We saw one RV that was at least 35 feet
long, plus an expensive truck, plus an SUV beside it, plus a motorcycle in
the back. It had a fence! So the vehicle part seemed to have lost the
battle with the home part. For those of you following along on your maps,
we were in Sandpoint, Idaho. Not recommended.
Our funniest Idaho story (again, "funny") is our time in the town of Athol.
Elyse was driving, and someone cut her off, someone else abruptly changed
lanes right in front of us. We quickly determined where the town's name had
come from.
Once Pete joined us, the number of funny things dropped markedly. Not due
to a lack of humour, but rather the fact that Elyse and I weren't reduced to
tears by completey unfunny things quite so much, having someone more rooted
in reality nearby.
Our plan, after picking up Pete, was to shop for anything left on the list,
since Spokane was the largest city we would see until our return to Spokane
in ten days. First stop, Costco. A word to the wise: don't go to Costco
with Pete. As mentioned, we didn't really know what to expect, so we bought
more than needed just to be safe. But I can say that fully a third of our
bill at Costco (you don't want to know what it was) was too much -- a lot of
it went right back to Canada with us, and is probably being gradually
consumed by Elyse. One case of Red Bull (high caffeine pop) came to
Halifax, and has been destroying Vinny's and my sleeping patterns ever
since. Next stop: Fred Meyer, sort
of an upscale Wal-Mart. We also bought some Costco gas, and bought a bunch
of pipes at Home Depot. It was a busy couple of hours, but we did actually
get back on the highway by 3pm, which was slightly ahead of schedule.
Most people (read: me) don't know this, but once you cross into
south-eastern Washington state, you enter an area that you would swear was
Death Valley. Very arid and desolate -- we knew that was what we were
heading towards in Nevada, but we hoped it wasn't going to be three days of
driving in it! Luckily, it wasn't. Oregon actually looked like I always
thought Washington did, with huge redwood trees and mountains everywhere.
We had decided to take highway 397, which was a shorter route through, and
in a car that would have been fine. In a top-heavy old RV though, it was a
little too scary. Often the highway dropped down to only a few spare inches
on our right and then sudden drops into chasms, and the highway was built
for higher speed cars, so every curve tilted enough that we got nervous. If
you've never driven an RV, just imagine sitting halfway up the CN Tower and
having it tilt. That's how it felt to us RV newbies.
We were driving along this dangerous twisty highway, and people would
occasionally pass our big, slow, motorhome. One car tailgated us for a few
minutes, so we prepared to stop at an upcoming turnout to let them pass.
Before we reached it, they started to pass us, pulled alongside, and yelled
for us to stop -- we realized that they too were going to Burning Man! We
stopped, and they jumped out of their SUV and ran to us, hugged us, and gave
us Burning Man gifts! We told them it was our first time, and they told us
it was going to be so amazing -- it was a wonderful way to be introduced to
the non-commercial non-cynical non-judgemental event, and left us smiling
the rest of the day. It's really hard to describe this to anyone who hasn't
been to Burning Man and make them understand -- most people I've tried it
with just get this blank look, not understanding why people would act this
way. It's all about stripping away the masks we hide behind all our lives,
when we hurry to do things that don't matter, and we fight with strangers
over parking spaces or whatever. Imagine if you could just be
yourself, do anything you wanted, and no one else around you cared? The
gift economy that Burning Man promotes is very foreign to all us wasteful
westerners, but we really could benefit from it.
Our last night in the RV before arriving at Burning Man was spent in
Lakeview, Oregon, right at the California border. There was a geyser there,
Old Perpetua, and hot springs, and we were very excited to see these sights.
Unfortunately, the water table was too low, and the geyser wasn't geysing.
Another downside was that Elyse had to shower with a frog. But there are
worse things. Being in the middle of nowhere, we got an amazing view of the
stars, much better even than we would have for most of Burning Man, since
all these normal people went to sleep at night, unlike most Burners.
In the morning we woke very early, eager to get on the road. We also knew
that we had about 200 miles to cover through hot and unforgiving highways
before we got to the hot unforgiving desert, and we wanted to be done with
it as early in the day as possible. Our only hiccup was Elyse's decision to
have a coffee in the morning, which as all drivers know, means bathroom
pitstop an hour later. Except that an hour later we were precisely 50 miles
from the nearest bathroom, and we couldn't use the RV's toilet since it
wouldn't be emptied until after BM was over. So Elyse daintily used a
nearby bush. Now all the Canadians are saying "oh yeah, I'd pee in the
forest, no big deal" except it wasn't the forest. Or even some bushes. It
was A bush.
We arrived successfully, as is now obvious. I had printed out many sets of
directions, again not knowing what to expect. As it turns out, there were
large, obvious signs pointing the way, so we just followed them. On the 12
miles of driving on a dead-end road, we passed a surprising number of people
leaving. We expected none, so any were surprising. Once we arrived at the
first gate we tried to tune in the Burning Man radio station, but we
couldn't find it. Not that there was nothing, quite the contrary: there are
radio stations at almost every stop on the dial at Burning Man, easily 30+
stations. We just couldn't get the one we wanted!
At this point we were now travelling on actual playa (dry, brittle desert).
Burning Man has hundreds of volunteers, many of whom arrive early in the
summer to start staking out the locations of important landmarks like the
actual Burning Man itself, along with roads and such. These people are the
Department of Public Works (DPW). They also mark the entranceway that
everyone drives, leading people to the gate. At the gate, the first words
we heard were "Welcome Home." It is a neat feeling to hear those words
spoken in such a place. We handed over our tickets, were given welcome
kits, and from the gleam in our eyes we were immediately identified as BM
virgins. We were commanded to exit the vehicle, and either a) roll in the
dust, b) get spanked with a stick, or c) something else I can't remember. I
chose to roll in the dirt, and everyone followed. We got MUCH more dirty
than at any later point in the trip, which was actually a good thing. My
black runners never did get their colour back, even now, a month later.
After our gate adventure, we drove the long mile or two into the actual
camping and parking areas. To keep everyone going slow (and thereby keep
the dust down), the DPW had placed interesting and amusing signage all along
the road, with lots of text that you could only read at about 2 miles per
hour. Obscure quotes tangentially related to this year's theme (The
Floating World), funny quotes related to saving the planet and being smarter
than dolphins, and just neat stuff. Several times while writing this I've
been forced to just stop, because I don't know enough words to describe the
things I've seen.
We pulled up to a general camping area, knowing that we'd have to find the
other three guys before we got too comfortable. Elyse and Pete started to
clean up a bit (a futile effort we quickly realized) while I ran in to
Center Camp to see if I could track them down. We had made plans to meet on
the hour in front of the camp, facing the Man, but no one was there. As it
turned out, BM maintains a messaging service, so all we had to do was ask
for messages under Elyse's name, and there was our note! It gave an
address, 120 degrees and Wheelhouse, and a description of Chris' car.
Amusingly, Chris described his car as "metallic beige and kind of dirty,"
which as you can guess was incredibly helpful in narrowing down the cars we
encountered! We arrived near noon, and they were all asleep, trying to
escape the heat. We woke them up, parked the RV, and deployed our magical
shade structure. We instantly became more popular because of it.
A word about shade. Those of us who grew up away from the ocean know that
shade is nice, but really not terribly relevant when the humidity keeps the
sweat from even evaporating. Summers in Ottawa could leave you immobile and
crying out for winter, and then the winters made you eat your words and wish
it was summer again. But in Black Rock Desert, there's no humidity at all.
Less than none. If you have shade, you can survive any temperature there
(well, approximately). Accordingly, shade is a must. We quickly learned
that our shade, while large and inviting, was location-of-sun-dependent, as
it was attached to one side of the RV. Next time, we need another shade
provider, so that we're good all day.
Another important concept at Burning Man (or any week-long event in the
desert) is "Piss Clear." All the time people say to each other "piss
clear", the idea being that you should be drinking enough water that you pee
clear. There's even a newspaper at the event called Piss Clear. If you're
not drinking enough water, you'll dehydrate, get headaches, be unhappy, and
eventually very sick. Pete gave us some basic first aid lessons on
dehydration on the drive down, but I know they just went in one ear and out
the other (sorry Pete) due to our excitement level. At least we knew we'd
be camping with two first aid instructors, which upped our comfort level
significantly.
Our first night there, we were taken by Chris, Evan and Justin over to the
LampLighters' area. They had been there since Sunday, and recommended this
as a great activity to partake in. Basically what happens is that hundreds
or kerosene lanterns are disassembled, cleaned, refilled, and lit, and then
places on large yokes which get carried by the lamplighters out into Black
Rock City. Light poles are spread throughout the main roads, allowing for
some night-time light. This is not an official Burning Man thing, it's just
become a tradition and is carried on by anyone who wants to be involved. We
all helped clean and set them up, and then dressed up in the special robes
they provide, and then carried the lamps out and hung them. The lamps are
hung using ten-foot poles, as the light-poles are about 14 feet high. Our
arms were sore by the end (the entire process takes at least 3 hours), but
we got an amazing view of major sections of the city, we felt welcomed and
involved immediately, and they even fed us pasta afterwards as a thank you!
The next day I was fighting a nasty headache, mostly due to too much sun and
not enough water. I had been drinking lots, but I had to learn the hard way
that you must drink what feels like too much, and being all
formerly-blond-hair-blue-eyed I needed to dodge the sun a bit too. Relaxing
in the shade from about 10 AM until 5 PM ended up being the perfect solution
for me. Rough life, I know.
We had been planning our trip for months, and we had all sorts of ideas
tossed around for ways we could participate (one of BM's slogans is "No
Spectators"), but none really came together until just a month before, when
Evan suggested Tibetan Prayer Flags. Basically, these are large flags
adorned with a simple phrase or idea (usually in Japanese or some other
non-western language, of course) which the wind picks up and carries to the
rest of the world. We all jumped at this idea, as it sounded simple but
elegant, and our other ideas were all proving too complex and/or expensive.
We ended up with eight prayer flags, each with a single Japanese character
on them: sky, fire, sea, sun, heaven, dreams, spirit, and journey. We put
them up in a line in front of our camp, where they proved to be quite the
conversation starter and visitor attractor -- especially to the young
Japanese woman who wanted to know who thought up this idea, as she surveyed
our completely non-Asian crowd!
On our second night at Burning Man, we all attended the Canadian Cocktail
Party -- one theme village called Chillage decided to hold a big party for
all the Canadians at Burning Man. What an event! Only there could you hear
people using Nunavut as the punchline to a joke, complaining that the Swedes
stole the hockey gold medal in 1994, and singing Spirit Of The West! We met
lots of fun people, including a few clueless Americans who just happened to
be there and ended up honourary Canadians. I also met one guy who played an
unusual instrument called the sound can, which is a speaker in a tin can
swung over his head in varying circles, while a computer-altered dial tone
was played through it. Sounds much cooler than I could ever describe.
Along the outer edges of the circle of camps is where you can find the
louder camps, people who truck in speaker systems larger than our RV just
for fun. We attended a couple night-clubs that people had built in the
desert a few nights, and there is nothing more fun than dancing to amazing
music under the stars in the desert! It's impossible to describe the
feeling I got from this. One such place we went was Illuminaughty, which
was defined mostly by the excellent music and occasional lasers emanating
from the DJ booth.
At one point Pete and I wandered over to the nearest porta-potties, and we
passed a bunch of plywood standing straight up in the road. We got closer
and Pete shone his flashlight on it -- a camp had left the plywood, a
camera, and pens here so that you could take a Polaroid of yourself, stick
it to the board, and then write a caption. We tried, but this Polaroid
didn't work in the dark. So we stuck our blank picture to the wood and
explained our situation!
Further on this same trek we found a trampoline, so we stopped and jumped on
it for a while. Many trampolines make it to the desert, and one sign sums
up the attitude: "for christ's sake of course you can jump on it." I guess
people bringing it as a gift got tired of answering that one.
My biggest surprise: finding life on the playa!! We were sitting in the
shade one morning and to our utter shock a cockroach wandered over to visit!
I still don't know if it was a local or if it hithched a ride to burning
man. In one issue of the Black Rock Gazette there was an article about 4
mice that hitched a ride in a rolled up carpet all the way from Denver --
sadly, only one survived, but it was well cared for and the plan was for it
to be returned to Denver after Burning Man was over -- 'Leave No Trace'
means mice too!
...to be continued...